Just Chatting: So This Is My New Years

Hey guys so I just thought I'd tell you, it being New Years and all. (why do I feel like important things are meant to be happening on New Years?) Now you lot are probably going out and partying and doing good things. Very jealous here. Remember safe sex is good sex. Though if you're about 13 then I don't really think that it really is good sex at all. Hmm. I think I took that too far.

Anyway so I've already been down to the fireworks, with my mate Jess. We chilled, walked around for a while. Then she dropped my home. That was my night. I think it went for the whole of 3 hours. Maybe 3 and a half. Wow, I'm pushing socializing.

So now I'm sat in my room just doing the total of not much at all. Really feeling empty sad at the moment. Do you get that? When you're just feeling empty and still really sad. Sad that isn't melancholy. God I'm so tired, haven't gone to bed in a reasonable time in so long. I don't know, maybe it's just feeling flat.

Anyway I'm listening to Thelma Plum and The Kite String Tangle. I think First Aid Kit is on too. It's good music. Sorry I'm not being very cheerful here. I don't know if I'll even put photos in this post. Wow, that is sad.

I'm sitting here, it's 11:35 at night and I think everyone in my house is asleep. My brother David has gone out to a New Years Party with his year 12 mates. And I'm on my computer, tired of thinking. I just Googled stuff on same sex relationships. I swear I'm tired of going through these same thoughts. I'm sick of wondering if I'm gay or not. I thought about coming out to Jess as bi tonight. I didn't. I actually seriously considered  coming out to my mum. (Yes I spell it Mum, not Mom, Americans.You'll have to survive). I also didn't do that. I don't know what I want the internet to tell me. I don't know what it can tell me. I looked at a couple of websites, they'd stopped giving me information about sexuality. Moved on to more important things like depression and anxiety, or just shut down. There's this  one and it's got the stories about lesbians coming out and "coming soon" or something. Fricken hell. The post was made in 2011. It's 2015 tomorrow. I don't think that's really soon anymore.
The information I did read though, I sort of hated. I wanted to hate  it so I suppose that it's not a fair assessment.

Oh Imagine Dragons just came on. I really love this band. I never thought I share these thoughts about coming out with my little blog, I thought I'd make a "coming out" post in a long time, proudly stating that I'm gay and be able to smile at that title and say "well I got here". That's not how it's going. Things never go how I imagine them. Honestly I just want to talk about it. In the least talkative way I can. Man, I am not good at this.

For some reason all I can think is "sorry mum". Sorry mum. Ever since I Googled these gay help pages. Oh why is this so tacky?

Alrighty. I'm going to bed. Night guys. Feel like I should end this with "sorry mum". Yeah that'd be dramatic. It'd make a good story.

Sorry Mum. Don't really know why I'm apologizing. Don't really want to think about it to be honest.

Sorry Mum. 

Music: Let Me Tell You

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Alright, so let's start this one by saying music. I don't really know what you're thinking now, but I want to tell you that music has changed my life. (Yes for the better).

Let me give you an overview of my life in music, I've played the piano since I've been about 9, maybe 8, and I've always loved it. My favourite style of music to play has always been semi-classical, you know the really emotional stuff that makes you feel something. I always used piano to funnel whatever I was feeling out of me. I mean most people talk about it or something but I just used it as emotions to my music. Seriously if you ever get the chance to learn music, piano, flute, singing, even just a few chords on guitar do it. I'm not kidding. You're music is always there for you especially if you can create it.

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When I was 12 I started my life long dream of learning the flute, but then my teacher stopped teaching and I was pretty sad, so that was the end to my flute days.

Now I know this is going to shock some people, but I only started listening to music when I was around 14. Man, I have come a long way. I first used it as a backing, helping me to think while I wrote stories and stuff. Then, I fell in love. I never will go back.

I think like most people I started with a taste that I don't like anymore, (lots of people would call it a terrible taste, but hey if that's what you listen to I'm not judging) sort of Kelly Clarkson and Taylor Swift. Then I got into The Fray and I do not stop thanking the day I found them. Since then I apparently slot into "alternative" music. Generally somewhere on the border of pop and rock, but really it varies a lot with whatever my mood is.

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Now I'm 16 years old, I don't spend a day without listening to music and I literally take my head phones everywhere. I'm still learning the piano, now also learning to sing and am teaching myself ukulele. A guitar that my uncle lent me sits in the corner of my room, but it's too hard to learn ukulele and guitar at the same time, so I picked the easiest one. (That would be ukulele in case you really don't know that much about instruments).

Now, my friends introduced me to 5 Seconds of Summer (I hear many of you groan, but hang on and hear me out), which I really do love. However, it's generally when I'm in the mood for some high energy music that I want to dance to. I'm not really going to bother telling you that you should love them, because you don't have to, (the same goes for the rest my of music to) but just because you don't love them doesn't mean that I should be sighed at for liking them. OK, so now we can go on without judgement.

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But I believe that music makes your life better. And everyone likes their own special style and don't judge them on that. Also, be tolerant of someone else's music. Don't be listening to music and then exclaim "what is this shit?" because even I'm a pretty confident person and that would pretty much demolish whatever confidence I had with my music. (That's one of the main reasons that I don't share my music a whole lot).

Anyway, although sharing my music scares me a lot I thought that every once in a while I post my top 5 or 10 most listened to songs for you guys to enjoy. I always find it hard to find new music (which is why a really like Spotify, it's radio is great and I like the way it's always suggesting new songs) and so I thought this would be useful for anyone who shares my taste in music, or anyone who wonders what on earth other people listen to. I'll try and put a bit of a range, but I mainly steer clear of screamo and rap (sorry about that, it scares me).

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Advice: Obviously It's Christmas Themed

So as you may have guessed, this post is going to about Christmas. I hear some of you squeal with delight and others are running to the shops right now to get the last minute gift (this one is usually me). This year has been the year I've been least excited for Christmas. I know, I know, I'm hearing that gasp but I am just as appalled at myself as anyone else. Don't worry, I'm not the Grinch.

To be honest, I don't know why I haven't been excited. I haven't really thought about Christmas that much, I've had a lot of other stuff on my mind and in particular, I'm not getting any presents for Christmas this year (except for those self presents, which were a moment of weakness - shh, stop with the guilt, it'll be a blog post). Also stop worrying that I'm one of those people who are like "oh I don't want any presents this year." I've found that everyone wants presents. Think about it, if they didn't get any presents any everyone else is tearing into their presents with their teeth (depending on your Christmas, you'll take that literally or not), this person would sit there and look really depressed. And that's not something that should happen on Christmas. (Although for me, it usually Christmas is generally is one major anti-climax).

Also before I forget, I should apologies for the lack of blog posts, I swear it's not my fault. Because I'm in rural Australia, our internet drops out when it rains or just chucks a tantrum when it feels like it. These tantrums generally occur when you're about to get the the cliff hanger of Pretty Little Liars (although those are actually quite predictable, and yes I emotionally invested in the show so I have to keep watching, although I sort of don't want to anymore) or it decides to commit suicide in the middle of the school holiday. (Much cursing the internet has occurred during the last few weeks). Also it's been family time (something that generally frightens me, but it's OK because it's only two brothers).

OK so moving on now. You know those people (or maybe you don't know them, that sucks) who are just really great at buying gifts? Whatever they buy for whatever person, whether they've known them for ever or barely at all, this person loves it. I mean this person actually loves it, not the "oh thanks..." *grimace* *wants to run to nearest bin and jump in it to get away from this gift.* Well I would like to inform you all that I am incredibly jealous of those people. When I give gifts, I feel like I have to be all mushy and sentimental, which for a portion of us is about as easy to do as it is to make out with a dog. Needless to say, I've never given a sentimental gift really or even tried to make out with my dog, just in case you were wondering.

Now I have been studying gifts people give. (Yes I am a proud nerd). I've come up with a list for you all (this is for you as much as it is for me, because I don't want to forget theses things).

1. Scented candles - someone was trying to tell me this was like a se gift or something but I'm fairly sure they were just having me on. I've given candles, other people have given candles. They smell amazing. People love them.

2. Decorative things. Obviously. People adore them, and all you have to do is think of their style. Something useful is always a bonus too. If you know them well, try and get them something funny that they can put in their room.

3. Photos. For those of us who don't have a lot of money, just get a nice picture and stick it in a photo frame (seriously, those are cheap. I got 3 for $6 at Big W the other day). If you want to be fancy, decorate the photo frame.

4. Generally funny things. Everyone loves this.

5. Remote control toys. If you're buying for a guy especially, they all love remote control things. Although they'll be too busy playing with it to think about anything else for a couple of hours.
6. Creams. No not the food. We're talking about hand creams, or a face moisturizer or a body polish, and even though it's not really a cream, nail polish. So long as it smells good it will be lovely. Also don't think that they are expensive, I got a nice travel sized one for $5 to give to someone  and I think it'll be fine.

And that's it for today! Merry Christmas for tomorrow! :D

Motivation: Photos (Again)

So here I am today. It is sunny outside, it is summer and I'm off to a pool party in about an hour and a half. This is proper summer here. 

Oh, just generally if feel like you should take the advice of a random, if you go to the beach ever you are going to need sunscreen. Seriously. If you're walking around in the sun for an hour get some sunscreen. And use it. I'm not kidding. (So sick of hearing all these people complain that they're sun burnt. I wonder how they got that way...)

Anyway on to more interesting things (yes I'll try not to sound like your mother, sorry) I just thought I'd do a quick photo post, I don't really know what to call them, maybe it's an inspiration board? Though what it's inspiring you to do I have no idea... 

So here you go! :D

After I made the collage I randomly decided that I'd be all motivational and weird here at the bottom, so if this makes you feel scared please do not read on (it's all good, I support your decision).

My friend, you are reading right now. After this, I want you to think of the thing you love most in the world to do (within reason - if you're broke, don't go on a shopping raid because of me). Think of that thing that brings a smile to your face every time you do it. You are grinning ear to ear. Every time. Baking brownies with your sister? Going for a long walk? Just having a cup of tea with your mate down the road? (Seriously, if you think it's weird to text someone if they want some tea, just go for it anyway. I would be honestly stoked if someone asked me to have a cup of tea with them. I have another friend that would be ready to marry you, so just call up your friend. Have a back up friend to, in case they bail). Get up now and go and do that. Right now. I want you to smile today. Not for the whole day, I'm not asking a miracle. But just once I want you to be smiling without having to think about that. Even if you're feeling like you're having the worst day imaginable, just do something you absolutely love.

Hey mate, I'm proud of you for doing that.

Style: Girly Grunge

Hello again. So I haven't posted in a while, sorry about that. I'll be a bit wobbly over the next few weeks because of all the kerfuffle with relatives and other Christmas-y things. Sigh. I'll do my best.

Anyway today I thought I'd talk about style once more, because, well I don't really need a reason do I? Ok, so if your style/personality is anything like myself, then you're not one of those cutesy dressing girls, who are completely adorable (it's one of those facts that we have to accept, some people happen to be more adorable than us), and I go through phases of loving the whole punk-rock look, with band t-shirts and looking like I live for  my music and not much else. Getting off track here, but seriously I only started listening to music about two years ago. Now I honestly don't know how I survived before I began listening. I am a solid convert, however I'm still catching up on my music knowledge because I missed out on a lot of education there. OK, back to the point, you look really fearless, sort of grungy (apparently it's called soft grunge? Someone please correct me if I'm wrong) with jeans and combat boots or something, and then you just have a craving to look sort of adorable. Not the sort of craving to pull out the flower crowns and lacy socks - I haven't gone that far yet - but the sort of want to wear and dress and look more girly than you usually do. But still in your own style.

Is this making any sense? I'm going to have to re-read this once I'm done, and I suspect it won't make a whole lot of sense. Yay for editing!

Anyway, it's generally a hard combo to pull off a girly-grunge (that's what we're calling it now), or it is or me at least. However maybe you find it the easiest thing in the world, and if that's you, I am extremely jealous. I always happen to go  overboard, or just not have what I need to pull off the look. (An amen by all those girls who go shopping and think "I have really great taste, man, I am to poor to afford any of it"). So I thought I'd give you some inspiration and maybe you can figure out how on earth you can do the look too.

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So this woman is called Violet Ell, and honestly I adore her sense in fashion. I think she's beautiful, and she manages to put her docs with almost every outfit she pulls together. Amazing, total jealousy.

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So you guys should know that I am going through a phase of loving dyed hair, so long as it is done well. Anway, that isn't the point in the photo, but it might add to why I love it so much. A sort of plaid/tartan (I'll never know if those are the same thing or not...) tied around a ponytail still looks cute, but avoids that overly cute-sy flower in hair that you did when you were five. 

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This could easily be made into something cute, just add a touch of girly, say a ring with something cute on them, or just something quirky. If you wanted to go a step further you could put in some sort of texture, say wear high knee socks, or a really "little-kid" beanie. Also adding anoter layer, like roll down the sides of your converse or rolling up the sleeves of your shirt - if it's cold put on a collared shirt underneath so you can see the collar poking out and it will look super cute (at least I hope that will work).

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And finally this one if for anyone with a more vintage style, it's not very grunge but you can always fix that up with your make up and hair. Now usually I would say that dress looks slightly like a shirt, length wise at least, and I still sort of wince, but at least she wears stockings with it so it looks alright. Now let me state the obvious, if you want to look vintage, retro, whatever you want to call it, polka dots are your best friend. Leather also is a great thing for you to have. Personally I wouldn't wear those shoes with it, though I like how this girl is rocking them, but I'm not one of those people who has the money to go out and buy an new pair of shoes for the one outfit. What I'd do is bring out your trusty combat boots (even your converse, most people own one of the two, or they're about $20 from Kmart if you don't) and wear those with this outfit. It'll look at little less vintage and a little more bad-ass, but that's fine with me. If you have a passionate hate of any sort of high top (well I don't understand it but this might be you) you could always wear some loafers, and maybe put some adorable socks with them.

So that's it for today's post, but if you want to look adorable your basics are collared shirt, high knee socks, anything knitted, if you're up for bows go for it (I generally have to wear them with something very grunge or else I feel to strange), and I can't stress enough of the oversize. Over sized shirts, baggy cardigans, sweaters that are far below your butt. Basically you want to look cuddly. That's the rule of cute.  

Just Chatting: Christmas Jumpers

 *Christmas songs playing in the background*

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Now, alright, I know this is going to be appalling to some people. We may have to have a few friends leave because of it. OK, confession time. I have never owned a Christmas jumper.

I know, I know, I'm not in the spirit of Christmas and everything if I don't have a yearly Christmas jumper, but forgive me because I am Australian. Us Aussies have Christmas in summer, and typically we spend it around a barbecue, with kids jumping in and out of the pool. The dream is always for a great sunny day, with dad cooking sausages and steak on the barbie, beer in hand, while mum brings out the coleslaw while chatting with Aunty Dee. And the kids just make a nuisance of themselves while they try to not boil in the heat. That's the dream. I have never known  it to a reality for anyone. Families are families after all.

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But secretly many of us here, down under, are dreaming of waking up to a snow laden street, with kids in beanies and wearing our hideous Christmas jumpers. Then sitting in front of a crackling fire and drinking eggnog. (I don't even know what eggnog is, but it sounds like something you drink when it's cold). But we know that this will never happen here. Sigh. Looks like I just have to move to Britain. Have to. It's going to be hard for me. (It's OK guys, I am definitely joking). 

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Anyway, although I know that the good ol' Aussie Christmas is incredibly under-represented, I would like to get into the spirit of a cold Christmas, hence the Christmas jumpers.

So since Christmas is only 15 days away (this is so exciting guys!) I thought that I would just take a moment for all of us that crave a Christmas we don't have. Maybe we want it hot, cold, just average, rainy, or maybe we just want to have a Christmas in general.

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Also, can we mention Christmas socks?! Oh my god, they are amazing. Absolutely amazing.

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Advice: Year 10 Formal

Hmm. I'm actually never sure what I actually blog about, for some reason I just update you on my life and sort of think about things here and there. That's what you get to read. (It's OK. I know your life is probably more interesting than mine).
So last night I went to my year 10 formal (it's basically prom but less fancy, for translation. Oh and we have dinner, is that what they do at prom too? I'm not sure). Most schools in Australia only have the year 12 formal when everyone is leaving school, but our school is a bit weird and we only go from year 7 to year 10, then we move to a different place to go to year 11 and 12. Basically, since we only ever get two in our lives, it's sort of a big thing. Seriously, I'm kind of glad it's over so people can shut up about it. When I get the photos back, I'll make sure to post them up here (I am such a lovely person), but for the moment I'll give you some advice. (Did I just hear you groan?) 

1) Don't look forward to it that much. Meaning don't talk about it every single hour (you're probably going to talk about it every day anyway), and just don't think it's going to the best thing you've ever attended. I am seriously saying this for your sake, because if you think it's going to be the best thing ever, it won't meet your expectations. It's good, but  it is definitely not great. (No nothing terribly wrong happened at my formal, this is actually my honest opinion).

2) Don't show everyone your dress before the day. OK, so basically you get there. You go through the "Oh, you look amazing" and you froth over their dresses. Then you get photos. Then you eat. (Or this is how it went for me).  Then there's speeches. Then there's not that much more to do for two hours, the dancing isn't great and there's only so many photos that you can take. But basically the special thing of the night was to see everyone dressed up and if you've already seen the dress, even if it's just a picture on a phone, than it's not as exciting. Oh by the way, if you see someone who looks absolutely gorgeous and you don't talk to them that much, go over and tell them anyway, because honestly it will mean a lot to them.

3) Just generally make sure that your dress isn't extremely tight, because then when you are eating it will try and strangle you. Literally.

4) This one is really important. Really really important. Make sure you do this. Just make your shoes fit you. And that you can walk in them. Otherwise it just looks terrible. And you know exactly what I mean. There's always a girl, who is bright orange from home done spray tan and is wobbling all over the place, and it's never something that hides. Never.

Oh and just remember that you should look how you want to look, not how your best friend is dressing. (Though if you love the same clothes then go for it!) Basically I wore what I loved, and short hair for a girl is hard to style with dresses, but I sort of went for an edgy look (maybe it had some elegance in there too? I don't want to go that far, generally elegance and I aren't on great terms.) Anyway, I loved what I was wearing, but I knew it wasn't for everyone. So just accept the fact that what you are wearing isn't going to suit everyone. Yes accept this fact. It doesn't mean you look bad, it just means that someone understand how you could like that dress. (seriously I do this a lot. I sort of wince at people's choices, but no, it's fine. They may dress how they like).

Anyway, I was going to talk about the after party (yes we have on of those) but honestly I think I've rambled on for long enough. I'll have to leave it for another day. Ta Ta!

Just Chatting: Just Some Photos

Hey guys! Sorry I missed last week's FriLife post, but I was travelling so I suppose that sort of an excuse. So at the moment I'm listening to Ed Sheeran and sort of pretty sad because I think the egg I just cooked lunch with was off (yes this is me feeling betrayed). Can we take a moment to accept how great Ed Sheeran's Don't is? Sorry. OK, I'm good now. Yes you can now picture me rocking out in my bedroom. 

So today I thought I share with you some photo's that I've basically found pretty funny because they're so true, so I really hope that you're sense of humour matches mine. Lot's of them are tumblr screenshots, but you're just going to have to survive. Anyway I think you are amazingly sexy and you should enjoy!

Just Chatting: This Is My Life

So warning before I start, I think this post is about to get deep. (Sorry 'bout that).

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OK, so this morning I got up (omg, please tell me more) and I sort of procrastinated about doing that. And then I procrastinated in the shower, because I like my shower. (Don't worry, this is going to get interesting soon). And I went about my morning, I didn't particularly enjoy it, because let's face it, who actually like mornings?

Then I was standing at my bus stop, and I could see the bus coming around the corner, and out of no where, this thought sort of slapped me in the face. This is my life. And you're probably reading this thinking, yea I know. She's gonna start saying YOLO soon. Oh god, get me out of here. That's  not what I mean. Well, it is what I mean sort of but I'm not going to start saying it.

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What I mean to say, is that I just stood there and thought: this is my life. And it doesn't belong to anyone else. I own it. Completely. And you can read that and skim over it, but no. No. Just no. Stop and think. This is your life. And you might not get a tomorrow. And nothing will ever be this day again. And nothing will ever be exactly the same. Not this second, you'll never feel all of this again. And yo'll never feel what you plan in the far off 'some-day', because if it comes, it'll be now. And it won't be like you dream. I mean, all you know in life, is what you know right now. And this is your life.

Every morning for so many years, I've  not wanted to get out of bed. I've not wanted to start my day. And as far as I'm concerned, it'll be like that forever. And I don't like that thought. I don't want to spend all of my moments like this. I don't. I don't know about you, but I really don't.

But it's not up to someone else to change that. It's not up to time to make your life change. It's not going to magically happen when you finish school. And I stood there this morning and the bus stopped right in front of me, not anyone else, me. And I just thought that I have no clue on how to make each day something that I want to get out of bed for. I know how to survive my days, but I don't know how to make them good. Great even. I don't know what would make me jump out of bed in the morning.

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And I suppose a lot of people would think that love was the answer for that. Ahhh. I'm not up for that. Honestly, I'm 16. I'm not going to fall in love. I don't even know what love is. And I don't want to spend my time waiting for it. Because when I look around, it seems like so many people are waiting. Waiting for love. Waiting for an opportunity. Waiting for inspiration. Just waiting.

Maybe it's because of that, that I don't know a single person whose life I want. But I know that I don't want to spend my life waiting. I want a life that's far away from waking up 'OK'. But I suppose, I just don't know how to get there. I suppose I'll keep trying. Maybe I'll die trying. I don't know. I'll keep you posted.

Advice: When You're Young

When you're a teenager, I swear you spend a lot of your time feeling sad. And when everyone tells you that this should be the time of your life, and you see youtubers (who aren't many years older than you) and movies, which show you what a good time you should be having, it makes you wonder what the hell is wrong with you. 

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And sometime you don't even have the energy to feel sad, because you're so god-damn tired, so you just feel randomly empty. Like everything just drained out of you. (Yeah I'm really selling teenage years here).

And then there's those time when you're having a really good mood and it seems like everyone around you has just sort of let their souls shrivel up and die in some far away place and they've frozen a sort of depressed, empty look in their eyes. Those days are terrible. Even sometimes it's only the one person that is sad, but you care about them a lot, so you're sad because their sad. Worse is when everyone else is seeming to have the time of their life, while you feel like you've fallen out with the universe. 

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And I'm not about to sell you the "top ten tips to change your life" (seriously who has time for ten tips these days) but I've found that if when I'm down, I just focus on the one thing that I'm really looking forward to that day. (Though generally I have a backup thing because otherwise I'll feel like my day has failed if I can't do it).

Say the other day, my friend was really down. Just the classic "I'm fine" sort of case with the dead eyes. You know what in talking about. And another friend of mine asked him if anything was wrong (and surprisingly he got an answer of "nothin"). But he just said, "oh well, we're going home now. So that's pretty good." And that was what he had to look forward to in his day. Nothing but getting out of school.

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I just thought there was something to admire in that. Because he knew that he wasn't going to like the 6 hours he was at school, but he wouldn't let school make him miserable through his time at home. Or just knew that if he suffered for a bit longer, he'd be able to be free.

So I'm not sitting here saying that you have to enjoy your day or something. If you want to have a shit day, go for it. If you know that you're going to have a shit day, accept that fact and move on (that was actually me this morning). But if you are up to it, if someone cracks a joke (that's actually funny) don't be too in the depth of misery to laugh. And just congratulations for getting out of bed (some people might laugh, but hey! That's a major achievement. I'm not kidding.) Do something to reward yourself for getting out of your bed, just make sure you won't feel guilty too for it later. (Eg. If you're trying to lose weight, don't pig out on brownies. Lesson learned the hard way). 

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Oh and don't just think that you're in it alone, although I know from experience that it feels that way (I'm trying to think what I could tell my younger self to make this sound believable, but I still don't think I would've believed what I'm saying now). Some days I wonder who I'd talk to if I had a problem that was hanging over me. I've never actually gone through with it (I admit, I am absolutely terrible at talking about my problems). But sometimes it's nice just to imagine the conversation you could have with that friend/teacher/parent (or whoever else you've got). Also accept the fact that if don't feel OK, you're not OK. And if someone asks you, don't lie. If they ask you "Are you OK?", just say "I don't think so." and then if they ask anything more just tell them there's nothing in particular they can do about it and you're just being young and moody. Or something along those lines. (Make sure you say thanks though, because otherwise you're going to seem like a major dick head.)

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Anyway, I've just noticed a lot of sad lately, and finally felt like I might have just a tiny sort of sentence that might help someone from all my years of being a teenager. Sorry it wasn't particularly lighthearted guys, just thought it was important. Anyway, congratulations on getting out of bed. Don't go to bed too late tonight. That's not good. You're bed can't be abandoned for to long. Think about it all lonely there. Go and give it some love.

Just Chatting: Summer Has Come!

Summery summery summer. Hooray! Alright so at the moment it is raining and windy, but not quite one of those raining days which you should make cookies on, so I'm pretty upset with the weather. No matter! I will take to my blog to obsess over the summery spirit! 

(But seriously, my internet drops out when we have bad weather so I'm not particularly happy. Shhh you lot about first world problems).

So Christmas is coming. How do we feel about that? Personally, I'm really excited. My brothers (at least I think they both are) are coming down to visit which is pretty good because now I only get to see them about once a year. Sigh. Growing up. Sigh. But still that's a good things that happens to me.

Now in my Christmas holidays I generally end school, am really excited for the amount of things I'll be able to do now that I have free time. (You know, do kick ass paintings, be able to finally just do that bit more with ukulele, and therefore be able to properly say I can play the god damn thing and generally other cool stuff). But then the first day comes and I basically sleep until around 9.30 (this is pretty late for me) and then lie around for another hour wondering why on earth I should get up. Wait, hang on. I saw a photo about this a while ago. Hold that thought while I go and find it... *That weird intermission music plays* (If you've never heard it, sing yourself elevator music).

Via Weheartit

Honestly, these things don't happen. I think last summer I was in the depths of some sort of depression (I don't know. Apparently that was what it was. I just remember that it was shit - excuse they language). And generally I spend most of my summer sleeping, because I've stayed up (alone) far to look the night before. Not doing anything. Also dying at family reunions. You know the thing. Also I never actually hang out with my friends that much, because generally most of them will be working or I just generally won't want to see them. Or we just can't be bothered to text each other back. (So that's my summer. What about yours?)

Anyway I always see these amazing photos of people on their flawless summers and the rest of us can sort of stare and wonder what it would be like to have lives like theirs.

Via Weheartit

FriLife: Containg Best Friends

Now I don't mean to sound like I'm complaining here, by any means. I have a great life, but sometimes I feel down. (Yes I know, omg). Anyway I just supposed I share some of my feels with you all today (warning,  may get kind of deep haha. It is almost midnight here).

So throughout my entire life I've never felt like I've had that 'best friend'. I don't know why. Maybe a lot of people don't. I've no idea. But I've had friends (why am I talking in past tense? It's all good, I still have friends). And my friends are pretty great, I can't complain. But I remember as a kid when people were told to say they're best friend, I was never named and that's stayed with me for life. (Yay for great childhood memories!)

Via Weheartit

I've always been incredibly independent, to the point of incredible stubbornness (seriously when I was a child I'd spend five minutes per shoelace because I wouldn't let my mum tie them). To me, it's always been that if I need help, I do it myself. I'm generally too proud to ask for help in things that I can't do well, or I just don't have the energy to be embarrassed. I know I have people around me who I could rely on to help me, but I have this weird mindset that if I can't help myself, than what is anyone else going to be able to do?

And I think this way of thinking probably doesn't help me at all. But I seriously can't change it. So I suppose I just accept that fact about myself.

As a kid I was always a loner. Literally when we had free time, all the other girls would be playing hairdressers or dress up and I'd sit but this gigantic teddy bear and squished next to the old gas heater reading books. I remember when I finished my first book there and I remember looking up and seeing everyone doing there own thing and having their own fun, but what they were doing didn't interested me, and I didn't know how it interested them. I just knew I'd rather have a book for company (haha I was a nerd from the very start).

Via Weheartit

And I've never really changed that much since being a kid. And I suppose all of these factors have always made me feel, I don't know how to put it, that I'm in life I'm in it alone? Does that make sense? I've always never been able to see the friends around me properly (don't ask me how. Ugh brain...). I'll just look back a year later or something and think 'wow, I had great friends then. Why didn't I realsid it?' And so I've always felt alone. But most of the time this doesn't bother me, I'm generally pretty happy with how I'm going in life. Anyway, I know that I'm not great at being able to completely devote myself to a friendship (if I'm around someone too much, no matter who they are, I'll get sick of them - fact of life for me). 

I've been told by many lovable people that I barely manage to classify as a female so I suppose I'm working on a lot of things haha. 

However, there are days (like today) when I'm just not very good at handling the fact that I'm a pretty lonely person. And there's no particular reason for this days to come and there's no help in being down about it and basically it's completely useless because I know I'm not going to change. 

Via Weheartit

I don't really know what I'm trying to say. I suppose my point is (come on Caitlin come up with a point) we can't chose what we're going to be bad at? I suppose my conclusion is that I'm just bad at understanding people, and that's me. And other people at bad at other things, and that's the way they are. And we all get down about the randomest things. I know on days (that aren't today) I wouldn't have my life any other way.

Ahhh the confusing life of being 16! I know perks of being wallflower is really hipster and all (I don't care, it was amazing) but seriously I spend so much of my time feeling both happy and sad at the same time. Except with a whole other bunch of emotions blended in there. And I'm bad with emotions. Bad. And so I spend a lot of time in my day wondering what the hell is wrong with me. 

Anyway, I better get to sleep because otherwise I will be so tired for tomorrow. It's all good I get to sleep in! (YAAAYYY - sorry, extreme excitement) So that's one good thing for tomorrow already. Alright. Nighty night guys! XO

Style: Dyeing Hair

Personally, I'm a bit on the fence about the whole hair colour thing. It's a big trend at the moment, especially the idea of ombre. I generally like the whole idea of it, but my problem is when its not done properly. It just looks BAD.

You know, when girls try to ombre their hair and it turns out that their hair randomly has a distinct line where it turns from brown to blonde? (Or whatever colour they're dyeing their hair). That line. Ugh. It kills me inside. Or when someone has that epic regrown and you look at it and know it looked cool once but now you're literally cringing. 

But on the times when it's done right. WOW. I think everyone has drool coming out of their mouth. It's like a statement in itself, and you don't even have to worry about the clothes.

So moral of the story; you're hair can look absolutely amazing if you dye it, but please don't do it as a particularly impulse thing, because generally those look really bad. But if you want to dye it, go for it, just fork out the money to get it done properly so you actually remain with hair on your head and not straw. (Yes being a little harsh here, but I think every one feels me).

So what do you think? Agree, disagree? Have any opinion at all? Want to show off your own amazing hair? Down in the comments please!

Style: Street Style

So this is a first and I'm very excited about it. Right, so I have a passion for street style. Completely love it. To describe my own style, I call it an edgy but elegant sort of thing (my friends thoroughly inform me that it is hipster... ugh...) Basically one of my core beliefs is for people to wear what they want, and to wear it because they like it, not because someone else does. But this is some of my style inspirations from the past few months and I thought I'd share!

OK, so the first photo is right on point with trends at the moment (the stripy shirt). I'm learning to love it although I'm not big on 'following the trends', I kind of like to look at them because it gives me an opportunity to look at things that I probably wouldn't usually do. I like the simplicity about the outfit (I'm generally not big on the fancier side - I just can't be bothered.) But the casual shirt, with that purse and the sunglasses, added to the ombred (why is autocorrect telling me that ombre isn't a word??) hair to dress it all up; yep I like that. It's also, for those of us who are addicted to underdressing, a good way of dressing up casual clothes just to make it a bit more city and less chilling-at-the-beach-with-friends.

Seconds photo (we're going across ways here) I'd just like to say if you have red hair, NEVER dye it. I will seriously murder you if you do. I LOVE red hair and this girl is just acing it. Also, I'm having serious love with that leather backpack. Argh.

Let's talk about this this third girl's hair. Oh. My. God. It is glorious. I kind of didn't pay attention to her outfit and just stared at her hair. Then I glanced at her face and saw she is also totally adorable. Ah some people have all the luck.

OK so in these photos I think you can see that I admire people who dye their hair quirky colours. The grey dress and the high socks with ankle boots? I'm up for that. Also, I'd like to note that I absolutely love high socks, as long as they don't make you look like a prostitute.  That's not a good look...

Just kind of liked the boots in this next photo. And I liked the simple rolling of the jeans. I think I might have had socks just poking out of the top of the boots though. Not really sure though, depends on the rest of the outfit.

White blonde hair. Especially when it is long. It's absolutely gorgeous and incredible hard to pull off to look good (most people do it cheaply and it sort of makes their hair look like hay - please if you want to do this, splurge and do it right otherwise it will look hideous).

The girl coming of the washing machine (I think?) is one of my all time favorite photos. It looks comfortable and edgy, which I adore. Also I have a crush on over-sized shirts and white doc martins so extra points from me.

If you're into make up (I like it, but I am by no means an expert) I thought the next photo was kind of cool. I'm big on heavy eyebrows and I thought she did really well with highlighting those cheekbones, so if you want some make up inspiration, try that one maybe? (If you do, please send me a photo!)

Now I know that stockings and shorts aren't everyone's favourite (my mother hates it) but I have a passion for it. It's another one of those things where you have to constantly check that prostitute line. But it's also a practical things for me, where I can recycle my shorts into winter. (Plus, it's also really comfortable, so that's always a bonus).

And now to lucky last (I'm joking it's not actually lucky, it's just another photo). But as mentioned before, I have thing for over-sized shirts and with that comes rolling shirt sleeves. I think it looks really good, a good way of personalizing something or making it a bit more casual if you're needing to dress down. Once again, I think she has white blonde hair so of course I was going to love this photo. Also, for someone like me who lives in Australia (where everyone has a love affair with the beach) and having more of a street style, I often find it hard to find inspiration to see denim shorts styled in a different way.

So yeah. That's about all I've got so say (I'm joking there's heaps more, but I have a feeling you don't want me to ramble for even longer). Sorry for going on and on for so long, but I hope you enjoyed today's post and let me know if you liked it! :D

Just Chatting: Not Much Is Happening

Hello guys!

So today... I woke up feeling like I should go and do things (yes, serious motivation) and I went general stuff around the garden and things.  I enjoyed myself, so that was pretty good. Then I went to my piano concert, I played OK and so I suppose there's nothing to complain about there. But now I'm sitting here at my computer and I swear all of the energy has just been sucked out of me (insert vacuum cleaner noise). 

Oh by the way, Blogger's has an update (or at least that's what I think) and it's now weird to insert photos and write because it moves around as you write it (OK it's hard to explain) so if any of my posts look a bit strange, that's why.

So for the rest of the afternoon, I think I'm just going to chill and do not much. Might make myself a cup of tea a bit later. If I have the effort...

If it is raining where you are, I am really jealous. You know that rain, that when you're inside, chilling with a movie and a hot chocolate or whatever you like to do when it rains (a lot of the time I'm one of those people who breaks out to cooking scales and starts making cookies. I'm not really sure why I need the rain to do this, but anyway...) and you can hear the rain just hitting the window and you look up and you know it's going to rain all night and you're going to be able to fall asleep to the rain? I like that rain. I really like that rain. I think I'm having a rain craving.

Anyway, I thought I'd leave you with some recent pictures that I've been loving from the past couple of weeks :D

All photos via Weheartit

Just Chatting: One Of Those Days.

Do you ever have those days when you kind of want to drop out, start a band and have the time of your life, while still wanting to break down and cry while knowing that you're still fine and your life is going OK?

Do you feel me on this on guys? I don't know, but I'm sure as hell having it right now. So how was your Halloween? What did you do on your weekend? Did anything exciting happen to you today? (OK, I admit. I'm kind of rambling now.) Honestly I kind of just wanted to tell you about my mood and wanted to write a blog post because I haven't made one in ages.

Oh right guys, I had something I wanted to put to you all. I thought that I might do a little cute post once a week/fortnight about particular things that I'm finding help me with my life. Sometimes they'll be deep, sometimes they'll be really short. (WARNING: I may be prone to say "back when I was your age." Joking. Hopefully I won't.) So what do you lot think? If you've got anything you particularly want me to write about I'll try (if it's something mushy I'll be crap at it but I'll give it a try. I suppose. You know me, just probably don't ask me about mushy.)

Alrighty then, I have to go and study because that's always a fun thing to do. (Not. I really am joking here.Just kind of want to relax and watch a movie, but no! Appearently education wants to have its say in what I do with my time. Ugh.)

Oh and I just  thought I'd leave you with something cute and adorable (with pictures! Arh!)