Advice: When You're Young

When you're a teenager, I swear you spend a lot of your time feeling sad. And when everyone tells you that this should be the time of your life, and you see youtubers (who aren't many years older than you) and movies, which show you what a good time you should be having, it makes you wonder what the hell is wrong with you. 

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And sometime you don't even have the energy to feel sad, because you're so god-damn tired, so you just feel randomly empty. Like everything just drained out of you. (Yeah I'm really selling teenage years here).

And then there's those time when you're having a really good mood and it seems like everyone around you has just sort of let their souls shrivel up and die in some far away place and they've frozen a sort of depressed, empty look in their eyes. Those days are terrible. Even sometimes it's only the one person that is sad, but you care about them a lot, so you're sad because their sad. Worse is when everyone else is seeming to have the time of their life, while you feel like you've fallen out with the universe. 

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And I'm not about to sell you the "top ten tips to change your life" (seriously who has time for ten tips these days) but I've found that if when I'm down, I just focus on the one thing that I'm really looking forward to that day. (Though generally I have a backup thing because otherwise I'll feel like my day has failed if I can't do it).

Say the other day, my friend was really down. Just the classic "I'm fine" sort of case with the dead eyes. You know what in talking about. And another friend of mine asked him if anything was wrong (and surprisingly he got an answer of "nothin"). But he just said, "oh well, we're going home now. So that's pretty good." And that was what he had to look forward to in his day. Nothing but getting out of school.

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I just thought there was something to admire in that. Because he knew that he wasn't going to like the 6 hours he was at school, but he wouldn't let school make him miserable through his time at home. Or just knew that if he suffered for a bit longer, he'd be able to be free.

So I'm not sitting here saying that you have to enjoy your day or something. If you want to have a shit day, go for it. If you know that you're going to have a shit day, accept that fact and move on (that was actually me this morning). But if you are up to it, if someone cracks a joke (that's actually funny) don't be too in the depth of misery to laugh. And just congratulations for getting out of bed (some people might laugh, but hey! That's a major achievement. I'm not kidding.) Do something to reward yourself for getting out of your bed, just make sure you won't feel guilty too for it later. (Eg. If you're trying to lose weight, don't pig out on brownies. Lesson learned the hard way). 

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Oh and don't just think that you're in it alone, although I know from experience that it feels that way (I'm trying to think what I could tell my younger self to make this sound believable, but I still don't think I would've believed what I'm saying now). Some days I wonder who I'd talk to if I had a problem that was hanging over me. I've never actually gone through with it (I admit, I am absolutely terrible at talking about my problems). But sometimes it's nice just to imagine the conversation you could have with that friend/teacher/parent (or whoever else you've got). Also accept the fact that if don't feel OK, you're not OK. And if someone asks you, don't lie. If they ask you "Are you OK?", just say "I don't think so." and then if they ask anything more just tell them there's nothing in particular they can do about it and you're just being young and moody. Or something along those lines. (Make sure you say thanks though, because otherwise you're going to seem like a major dick head.)

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Anyway, I've just noticed a lot of sad lately, and finally felt like I might have just a tiny sort of sentence that might help someone from all my years of being a teenager. Sorry it wasn't particularly lighthearted guys, just thought it was important. Anyway, congratulations on getting out of bed. Don't go to bed too late tonight. That's not good. You're bed can't be abandoned for to long. Think about it all lonely there. Go and give it some love.