Alrighty so at the moment I feel like I have a lot to confess. (I'm not really sure what those things are but I just feel it you know?) Anyway so other than own up to mega amounts of procrastination and just generally failing deadlines (both self put in and real ones) I thought I'd tell you about things in my life that I'm generally not to proud of.
So where to start? There is a long list. (Yes I know that's not good).
OK let's start with me preaching. I know here on this blog I talk about doing what you love a lot. And I do do that, I'm not a complete hypocrite but I have to admit, that if I did that all the time I think I would just about quit the internet apart from blogging, obviously never do school work and then only eat the food I absolutely adore. But (kind of also obviously) I don't actually do that all the time. The only excuse I have for not doing this (well I actually have to do school work, because otherwise I don't really have much of a future) is that doing all the stuff I love is tiring. And when I want to have a really chill day, or when I am already really tired, that's when endless blog reading and random online shopping comes in (it's pointless, I know I never actually buy anything online shopping, but I do it anyway). So I don't know what to do about that. Maybe I just have to love something that doesn't include a whole lot of anything. Sigh.
Secondly. I can't concentrate. Whether I'm in class, talking to friends, just general life, I can't concentrate. Please tell me other people do this. It's not getting bored and looking out the window, I'm trying hard to listen and then my brain just tunes out and when I tune back again, i realize that I have absolutely no idea what has been said for the past 3 minutes. (This happens to me approximately every fifteen minutes). Seriously, I'll be having a conversation with someone and then I'll have just missed what they said and I'll just say "yeaahhh" (you know that vague agreement) and I'll have to point the conversation in a new direction so we can keep on talking. (Yay for being a great friend there)
But seriously I can't even concentrate on what I'm thinking for more than five minutes. Ugh. Anyone know how to fix that? (Other than me banging my head again the wall/desk/hand/whatever I've got in my hand?)
Then there's small other things, like me comparing myself to other people. (I know this is really cliche. I'm sorry). Generally I just don't compare myself to other people as much as possible (otherwise it's depressing for me) but lately I've just been comparing everything about myself. Seriously I'm picking apart my personality and I'm losing a whole bunch of self-confidence, so I'm kind of scared. (I kind of like being confident...)
Then because of my comparing to other people now I'm becoming silent-er and talk a whole bunch less. Ahh. Hopefully it's just a phase. That goes quickly. Hopefully. *Crosses fingers.* *Then attempts to cross toes.*
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