Just Chatting: WishList

SO I have this want list now. I'm gradually building it up. (Well "gradually" meaning like one item per week... That's gradual right?) So this post is sort of me having therapy right now because I have just spent about 2 hours doing a tiny part of my maths homework (seriously I didn't even procrastinate, I was working pretty well and I got less than a quarter done). All the while thinking that I'm going to fail my future. 

Anyway let's attempt to be positive. *Repeats this mantra 20 times in the next 5 minutes.*

Now these are material things, so no one better start quoting at me that material things don't make you happy, because I want to be happy.

1. So I have this passionate hate for mascara. (I know, weird). I've seen too many girls literally pile it on their eyelashes until when they blink it takes a few seconds to un-stick (I secretly think this is their test for seeing if they've put enough mascara on "Oh did that only stick for one second? What? I wanted the full three second sticking power for today!" - what I imagine these girls must say every morning.) And then when blonde girls wear mascara and it just looks so unnatural because their eyelashes have always been blonde, basically all these things have terrified me from wearing it myself. Which is a shame because I happen to adore the dark eye look (think Aria from Pretty Little Liars) with thick/dark eyebrows. And you can't (or at least I can't manage to) have dark eye brows without the eyelashes to match. So I've researched and I've decided on the Too Faced - Better Than Sex Mascara. (Well that name's a bit raunchy). It's meant to be everything I want and more, according to many beauty bloggers so I'm willing to give it a try.

2. This one's also make-up. I've been getting into make-up recently and I find it quite strange for me not to have pink/red cheeks (let's face it, no one is just the one colour) so I've been stealing my mother's bronzer (ah aren't I a good daughter?) but I've decided to want my own good quality one (I don't want to buy cheap make-up because I have been again overly scarred from to many bad applications of this, and anyway the more expensive one will look better). So second is the Hourglass - Ambient Lighting Blush. I'm not entirely sure on which colour I should choose but I'll have to leave that until I can test them with my skin tone.

3. A sweater. I know I know, it's summer in Australia and so I should be saying a bikini or something but I have a serious sweater craving. Something cuddly and not to over-the-top, probably just a block colour. I'm thinking a blue, probably navy. I'm going to have to do a lot of looking for this, after this I'm off to ASOS to have a browse around and see what I can find in the depths of their virtual closets.

Anyway so that's my wishlist. I apologize for rabbiting on so long, I meant for this to be a short post. Ah you guys just get me talking and I can't shut up! Anyway also I know it's very girly, but I am gradually morphing into a girl so we're all going to have to get used to it. :D

FriLife: Confessions

Alrighty so at the moment I feel like I have a lot to confess. (I'm not really sure what those things are but I just feel it you know?) Anyway so other than own up to mega amounts of procrastination and just generally failing deadlines (both self put in and real ones) I thought I'd tell you about things in my life that I'm generally not to proud of.

So where to start? There is a long list. (Yes I know that's not good).

OK let's start with me preaching. I know here on this blog I talk about doing what you love a lot. And I do do that, I'm not a complete hypocrite but I have to admit, that if I did that all the time I think I would just about quit the internet apart from blogging, obviously never do school work and then only eat the food I absolutely adore. But (kind of also obviously) I don't actually do that all the time. The only excuse I have for not doing this (well I actually have to do school work, because otherwise I don't really have much of a future) is that doing all the stuff I love is tiring. And when I want to have a really chill day, or when I am already really tired, that's when endless blog reading and random online shopping comes in (it's pointless, I know I never actually buy anything online shopping, but I do it anyway). So I don't know what to do about that. Maybe I just have to love something that doesn't include a whole lot of anything. Sigh.

Secondly. I can't concentrate. Whether I'm in class, talking to friends, just general life, I can't concentrate. Please tell me other people do this. It's not getting bored and looking out the window, I'm trying hard to listen and then my brain just tunes out and when I tune back again, i realize that I have absolutely no idea what has been said for the past 3 minutes. (This happens to me approximately every fifteen minutes). Seriously, I'll be having a conversation with someone and then I'll have just missed what they said and I'll just say "yeaahhh" (you know that vague agreement) and I'll have to point the conversation in a new direction so we can keep on talking. (Yay for being a great friend there)

But seriously I can't even concentrate on what I'm thinking for more than five minutes. Ugh. Anyone know how to fix  that? (Other than me banging my head again the wall/desk/hand/whatever I've got in my hand?)

Then there's small other things, like me comparing myself to other people. (I know this is really cliche. I'm sorry). Generally I just don't compare myself to other people as much as possible (otherwise it's depressing for me) but lately I've just been comparing everything about myself. Seriously I'm picking apart my personality and I'm losing a whole bunch of self-confidence, so I'm kind of scared. (I kind of like being confident...)

Then because of my comparing to other people now I'm becoming silent-er and talk a whole bunch less. Ahh. Hopefully it's just a phase. That goes quickly. Hopefully. *Crosses fingers.* *Then attempts to cross toes.*

Music: Triple J Hottest 100

Photos Via Weheartit

OK, so just had my first day if year 11. Incredibly tiring. You know when you don't even do much at school, sort of just sitting in assemblies and by the end of the day you're just dead. Like emotionally drained? Ugh, to much socializing.

Anyway so today I figured out that my headphone jack in my phone is broken so now I can't listen to my music on my bus (it's actually really sad, now it's obvious that I don't want to talk to anyone on my bus). So I'm not sure how I'm going to entertain myself on bus rides now. Anyway so now I'm catching up on my music intake for the day, playing (not quite blasting) Triple J's Hottest 100. I had a couple of friends talking about it at school today, and I've never payed much attention to it as I thought it was just something that just had all the top hits. The friends that were talking about it had a great taste in music though so I was surprised that they liked it, so I had to investigate.

(Triple J's Hottest 100 might be just Australian, I'm not entirely sure but I think it is. Still the music is pretty international so you can Google the list and then listen to all of the songs with me, as I'll be listening to it over the next few days).

Now as I'm pretty musically uneducated (doesn't lessen my love for it) I don't exactly know a whole lot of the songs, but I figure that's OK because one of my friends who lives and breathes with the radio on didn't know all of them so that makes me feel better. I thought I'd put you lot onto it though because it is voted by people and so it's not the top hits that everyone gets sick of after hearing 3.5 times.

So far my top favourite songs of the ones I hadn't heard before are Mess is Mine by Vance Joy (I have a passionate love for Vance Joy and just love most of his songs), Tightrope by Illy, High by Peking Duk (I really like this band and when I listen to all their music I'll give you my top favourites), She Only Loves Me When I'm There by Ball Park Music, and Beware The Dog by The Grisworlds.

Anyway when I've finished listening I'll give you a top 10 that you must listen to. (You must). And so go my children and go and listen to that music! Go right now. Do it. And don't let me down. Also generally I'm not a sucker for rap but I quite liked Hilltop Hoods' song, Cosby Sweater. (This just surprised me so I thought I'd share it).

Anyway I'd love to hear your favourites so if you're in the mood for sharing be sure to tell me in the comments :D

Just Chatting: Update

Photos via weheartit

So there's this thing they call coming out. And that's a shit way to describe it. It sounds like all you have to do is walk out and bam! everything is fine. That's not how it is. I think many people have no clue what it's like to have to rethink your entire life and everything you had previously thought you would do with your life and what everyone expected of you to do in your life (well most people, yes because most people are straight I suppose).

Let me tell you that you spend a lot of time thinking about it. About a third of the time that I have alone I'm thinking about it. And it's not like you get anywhere thinking. You know that you've just got to give it time but that doesn't make a shred of difference.

And you wonder how it's going to change your life a shitload, because it is. It's going to change it a lot. And for some reason you feel like it should change you as a person, but then it's not going to at all because it's just something that you've always been, and so saying a couple of words isn't going to make you vastly different. To put this post right guys, I'm not trying to whine. I swear, I know I haven't got a bad life. In fact I've got a good life, but really coming out is hard. And you feel guilty the whole time because you feel like you're lying to everyone all the time. Seriously I have to randomly put in comments about hot guys that I don't find attractive to my friends so they don't think I'm weird. I don't know. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

OK I did come here with a reason, this wasn't a completely random post. My point is if you have a friend who you think is gay and they haven't come out to you yet a) assume they're straight until they actually tell you otherwise. If they are gay, it'll freak them the hell out (or at least it would to me) if you start dropping comments about it. b) give them a bucket load of time. All the time they need. You try and think about how much time it would take to rethink your entire life and what you planned, and try and figure out the gay world while wondering how on earth you manage to know if the girl/guy you find attractive is gay or not and how you approach them and that most of your friends will flinch at sight you kissing someone of the same gender. That shit takes time. Be sympathetic. But not obviously. No actually screw sympathy. Just treat them as you would any other person, without thinking. Because that's exactly who they are. And they are most definitely the same person they've always been. 

Photos via weheartit

Style: Looking Like A Prostitute

Dun dun dun! (That was an attempt at a dramatic sound effect). Here we are again, at the blog, you and me. I have to apologize for not being present for three or so weeks, I was in America (yes, it was AMAZING) and so I didn't have much time for this here blog. Don't worry, now I'm back and now back into the full swing of the blog.

OK so now on to today's post. So being in America, I did a lot of shopping (surprise surprise) and I watched a lot of other people shop too. It still confuses me when someone tries on something hideous and they love it, but I'm standing there thinking that they look like a dickhead; what do you say in these situations? Do you complement them or tell them what you think? 

Anyway I watched a lot of girls shop and I honestly didn't know how they were going to wear what they were buying without looking as though the aim of their day was to have sex. Seriously I'm not one of those people who thinks that your skirt has to be to your knees and if you're showing a bit of bra it's far to raunchy, but there is a definite look of being a prostitute and many girls seem to hit that all the time. And I think I talk for a lot of people when I say that I'm sick of looking at it.

Let's put in some rules here.

1) Do not wear 2 kg of makeup

2) Mascara isn't to glue your eyelashes together when you blink.

3) A shirt is not a dress

4) A bra is not a shirt

5) Your underpants are not shorts

6) A twelve year old cannot wear 4 inch heels

7) Foundation is not meant to be orange

8) Fake nails are not meant to be double the size of your fingers

Now I always assumed these thing were fricken obvious, but apparently not. If you do these things I can guarantee that you will not look cute. Not at all.

But looking intelligent is cute. Looking classy is sexy. Having the look of someone who's got all their shit together (even if you actually wouldn't know where on earth to begin looking for your shit) is something that makes people take a second look.

And looking classy generally means buying more classy things. I'm not saying Chanel or something, no, but things that don't look like they're going to fall apart the first time you throw them in the washing machine. Buy an expensive skirt and crop top and you've nailed both sexy and classy, and completely avoided the look of the sex industry. If you wear an expensive shirt, you can have crazier hair and eccentric make-up and just look like a quirky kid that grew up, but still with the same essence (check out the first collage, woman with sunglasses and pink hair).

FriLife: Friends

OK. I know. I have done two things wrong. OK firstly, unlike almost every single other blogger out there I am not going to start off the new year with writing about my "new years resolutions". To be honest, I don't have any. (Yes I know you are shocked). But (I know this is really hipster, I apologies, my brain thought it I can't help it) I always wonder why we need the new year to change things about our lives. I get that some people like to think of it as starting over. I think if I did that I'd leave the whole "diet, effort, doing things, getting more sleep, friends, being happier, eating potatoes" (you know the list people come out with as bright and shiny 'Resolutions'. Maybe without the potatoes) until the new year. I know that's the point, but that just leaves me so much time to procrastinate and not change because I'll leave it to the New Year, instead of getting my arse down (after moderate amounts of procrastination) and doing it.

Anyway the second thing I have done wrong is it's not Friday. I know this. But I meant to post this FriLife post yesterday and I didn't. We're going to pretend that today is actually yesterday (it's like time travel!). OK.

So friends. Friends... Friends. Hmm.

Good topic Caitlin.

This is rather difficult.

So when you're growing up everyone thinks (or I did) that when you hit teenage years suddenly you're going to have friends, a social life (anyone know where I can buy one of those?) and all those other good things are going to happen to you, including turning really hot. Let's all hold hands and accept that this isn't something that happens.

Friends are a hard part of growing up. Mainly because everyone is growing up. Meaning that every one is trying to find who they are and their place in the world, which makes things hard. It means that you're friends have a large probability of leaving in the future because you'll things in common and your interests will change.

Now like everyone else, I'm particularly thinking of those girls who are always like "oh no I love you so much! Yay!" "Best friends forever!" "Oh yes! Promise?" "Promise!" You know the ones I'm talking about. They're overly excited and it just tires everyone else out, they look like idiots and their "forever" lasts for about a year. (If you are one of these people, well... sometimes the truth hurts).

That example is the extreme but in less extreme versions it's still true. Take my life for example, I had this best friend since I was five years old and we were inseparable, then about two years now we just grew apart. We're still friends, but just more distant. We never had a fight and we're both cool with it but we just changed as people and so now we have less in common. We've both got new friends who we love and we're both completely happy.

Now I don't mean to tell you that you're friendships will end and everyone will leave you so you shouldn't have friends. Just because something might end doesn't mean you should never try it. I've had friendships that have ended terribly and I wouldn't take them back for the world. I'm not even saying that you shouldn't get super attached to your friends. If you want to get super attached to them go for it, it sure looks like whole lot of fun.

I'm all for friends, they're great and they cheer you up and they make you laugh like nobody else. Just appreciate the friendships you have, be flexible and love the people who seem most interesting to you.

I suppose I'm just writing this as sort of an explanation, to  help you understand why things are happening (I sure could've used this when I was thirteen). Basically your friends are going to hurt you a lot. A lot a lot. But generally they're worth it. And they're are friends for everyone, even if they aren't like you imagine them, they might even be better. You look around and they're are people exactly like you. Most people are lucky to have only had a best friend leave once (I think most people have had that happen at least twice, probably three times. It depends on how quickly they make best friends). 

Losing something that people have to live with, and it doesn't always have to end badly, sometimes you're both OK with it. Those are the good times. But the times you have with your friends are the best of your teenage years (according to people who've survived the teenage years).